


Bountiful

by alkatibeh



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-30
Updated: 2014-07-08
Packaged: 2018-01-27 15:22:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1715378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alkatibeh/pseuds/alkatibeh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where is the line between revenge and salvation?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Mission, A Need

**Author's Note:**

> AN: First fic ever! Will contain multiple chaps, though I'm not sure yet exactly how many. As usual, I own nothing and stand to gain nothing by writing this.

The first time she found Kakashi, he was sleeping. Or at least he had been. Strong fingers clutched her forearms in a bruising grip and she felt like it would be her levee that broke before her bones. Her throat mangled out a sound that might have been his name or the name of another ghost. The fingers tried to crush into fists around her arms and she cried out, not fighting, only falling.

“Sakura?” One shocked eye, a heaving chest, a bang, and smoke.

“Oh…oh, no,” she sobbed. The concrete floor of the storage unit was cold, and she lay folded as a blanket until sunlight marked another beginning.

***

_Ten months of SACRIFICE, and_ _BLOOD! Goddamn him!_ The thoughts shot from her narrowed eyes and into the dark where they settled around her. She could not go on. She could not start over.

She searched herself again, plunging the depths of her memory and intuition to make a guess. Any estimate would do. How far could a ninja of his caliber travel in a day, and how far could a heart stretch? Sakura could think of an answer to neither. She curled into the moth-eaten blanket and thanked the Universe that she had forgone a late dinner for a night at an actual inn, lonely and dirty as it may be.

_If I find him, I might kill him,_ she thought, and didn’t believe herself. Not _really._

But she thought of Tsunade’s trembling chin, the streak of lipstick which had never been out of place. Not once. She remembered the rough texture of the scroll and Kakashi’s trembling strokes.

Sakura had not cried then. It had been too frightening, the dark pit of future that she stared into at that moment. Her eyes were far away and wide like she’d never shut them again.

After the first few days Tsunade had put her in hospital, convinced she was trying to starve herself.

“I will not have my head of E.R. waste away before my eyes!”  Her face was angry, her voice was twisted, “My apprentice…” and the last sound was like a pained plea. She turned and slammed the door so hard the small window pane shattered. Sakura liked the sound. It made her feel… _important._

Two days later she accepted the mission: bring Kakashi back. Her Hokage nodded tight and short and not many words passed between them. She left that very night, and decided she would break before she gave.

Now she was tired, and had learned to blink again. Had even learned to sleep, eventually. As far as she knew, no one else was tracking her target – and that was how she forced her brain to work – for money or for knowledge, and he was still alive. She could afford the rest. She didn’t eat much. Tsunade would be furious.

Sakura wasn’t sure if it was hatred or hurt or love or vengeance that spurred her on, gave her that sick feeling in her stomach at night, when she had time to feel. She decided it must be a combination of all of them and then decided they were all worthless. She thought of _vengeance_ and snorted, nearly amused. She thought of the word _obsession_ and of the people she knew.

***

The breeze was chilly and Sakura felt like breaking something. Crushing something delicate in her fingers. She knew she could do it, if only there were anything delicate left.

“ _Ghraah!”_ The skin of her knuckles split against the brick. Six months since she had woken him on that summer night in Earth Country, since her first failure, and still the man remained a scent on the breath of the strangers she met.

… _at a bar…_

_…the inn downtown…_

_…strange figure in the trees…_

She ground her molars and headed for the southern gate of the small Fire Country village. Kakashi was darting back and forth between countries by travelling close to the borders. Smart man. He knew what international communication was like these days. He knew a lot of valuable things.

But that was the Hokage’s business.

If she left now, she could travel at least another two hours and make a camp between here and the next village. Some terrible fuel drove her and she knew she’d be alert even in her sleep. Besides, she was sharp in mind and body, chakra precise and steely as a scalpel. She could remove a man’s skin without touching him. She had not been wasting her time during her search. She sweated through every minute, refining, meditating, focusing her intent.

She didn’t want to kill him, but she knew she couldn’t beat him either. And she knew he’d need to be unconscious before she could think about dragging him back to Konoha.

_Where he’ll be incarcerated and likely interrogated._

The thought was novel, not one she’d considered before. She felt satisfied and then a little guilty.

She let her mind go blank as she forged onward through the trees of the dense wood, eventually finding a place to rest as the night became cold. She laid her chakra like dust over the surrounding area and controlled it elegantly, not too much, nor too little. Just enough so that she’d know if someone approached.


	2. North or South, Each Way There is Danger

It seemed like Sakura was counting her pulse before she even woke. _Fast, hard, loud._ There was someone out there. She froze and tried to control her breathing.

In. Out.

_It’s an animal. It was the wind._

A rhythmic crackling sound began and moved toward her. She labeled it _footsteps_ and her skin began to tingle, sweat appearing like a glaze over her body. _Two legs._ She slowly reached for the kunai pouch slung on the floor near her head and cursed herself. How could she have slept so deeply?

The steps stopped and she exhaled, fluttery as bugs’ wings. She dared not speak.

“Don’t move.” And she knew the voice, felt its edge slide under her rib-cage, puncture her lung. Breathless again.

“If you move, I’ll run and you’ll never catch me.” He gave her a moment to decide. Sakura felt hot tears spring to her eyes and she blinked furiously, sucking angry breaths. How could this happen? _She_ was supposed to be hunting _him!_ She felt caged and volatile, wanted to rip through the side of her tent and snap the authority he exerted over this situation. Over _everything._ How fucking _useless_ was she?

 “Fuck you,” was her wavering hiss, but she stayed still.

He continued, out of breath, but with a stern voice, “Four men have been tailing you since you left that village up north. They were coming right up on you. I stopped them about 100 meters back the direction you came. I killed three. The fourth is tied to the white birch east of your tent. I suggest you question him and then kill him. Or let him starve. You should be more careful.”

A laugh broke from her throat and Sakura thought she heard Kakashi take a step back.

“What difference does it make?” Her voice was low, bitter, “You’ll keep running either way.”

“Sakura…go home.” The leaves above rustled, and the rustling moved away until it was a whisper she swore she could still hear.

***

When the first bird sang she allowed herself to move, stretching her tight muscles. She had lain for hours, kicking herself for both her stupidity and the utter _impossibility_ of the situation.

One does not catch a Copy-ninja. One gets caught.

Not only had four strange men managed to follow her deep into the woods without her noticing, but Kakashi had known exactly where she was and where she’d come from. Some ninja was she.

She had considered leaving right after Kakashi bounded off into the trees to try and tail him, but decided it was unwise. She couldn’t match him for speed, and she needed to know if anyone was following her.

When she stepped through the front flap of her tent, the man tied to the birch tree jerked his head as if from a light sleep. His torso was wound to the tree with thin, durable twine and a cloth had been lodged in his mouth.

_Young,_ she surmised, _scared_. His eyes roved wildly, all over her. She decided to take her time.

Grabbing the water pouch from her belt, she took slow, measured steps to the nearby stream. His eyes followed her and he made a small, vague sound.   _Thirsty, too._

Sakura drank deeply, then swished and spit a mouthful into the dirt. She made her way toward the man and could see him getting excited, round stare fixated on her pouch.

She dropped to the ground before him and gave him a level gaze. “Bet you got beat up real good, didn’t you?” Her tone was knowing, and she goaded him further, “Seems your buddies didn’t make it. Pity.”

The man was dirty, and his dark hair shimmered with blood. He glared at her hard, full brows sweaty and low. Sakura grinned. He had spirit.

“Listen, pal. In a second I’m going to take out your gag and ask you a few questions. If you answer honestly, you get water. If you don’t, the water gets you.” She jerked her head toward the stream, “Got it?”

The man seemed wary, but eventually nodded. Sakura reached out a small hand coated in chakra to protect from bacteria and teeth. When she removed the gag, the man inhaled deeply, as if emerging from a pool. Then he began to cough.

“Now,” said Sakura, looking quite pleased, “who are you?”

The man composed himself, taking a deep, slow breath. He didn’t speak at first, and Sakura thought she might have to beat the information she needed out of him.

“Ken…ta…” the man wheezed. She guessed he had some internal injuries by the blood flecked over his lips and chin.

“Gooooood,” she cooed supportively, and held the mouthpiece of the water pouch to his parted mouth, “Age?”

He pulled his face away from the pouch and gave her a hesitant glance, “Eighteen.”

Sakura winced. He seemed tired, head hanging and feet splayed in front of him. His fingers were blushing purple through the twine that held them. He was only a bit younger than she.

“Why were you and your men following me?”

“They’re not _my men,_ ” he said, “We belong to a larger group. There are more of us.”

“Fine,” Sakura interjected impatiently, “but _why?”_

Again, he hesitated.

“If you don’t tell me, I’ll leave you here to starve. There are vultures in these parts,” she said, squinting up at the sky.

“We need…a medic. Our leader heard that the Leaf Village had sent out its top medic on a long mission, so we decided to try and capture you.”

“How long have you been following me?”

“My squad followed you from that town back there. Before that, we were trying to track you, but we were having trouble picking up a trail.”

“And now?”

He paused, “There will be others.”

Sakura sat for a moment, considering her next move. She could kill him easily, but she wasn’t fond of murdering unarmed prisoners.

“Are you affiliated with and Hidden Villages?” Her tone was careful.

“…no. We are from all over this land. Rogues.”

“And none of you have any medical training?”

He snapped his gaze up, hope shining bright in his eyes, “Our medics have…tried…but our leader is ill, and their skills are not adequate. Will you help us?”

Sakura scoffed, standing abruptly, “I’m not a medic anymore.”

Using her chakra to create a sharp point from her fingertip, she drew a small gash across her thumb and pressed her bloodied finger to the ground. A figure emerged from a puff of smoke.

“You called, Miss Sakura?” The ladybug was large, and fit snugly in the groove of both Sakura’s palms as she lifted it from the ground to eye-level.

“Chika, I need you to deliver a message to the small village north of here as quickly as possible, can you do that?”

Chika fluttered her wings eagerly beneath the veneer of her red shell, “Of course, Miss Sakura!”

Sakura nodded shortly, “Good. Find the police headquarters, I believe it’s located in the eastern sector of the village. Tell them there is a rogue ninja tied up in the forest. He is a member of a larger gang consisting of other rogues, whose existence and intentions need to be verified and investigated. Then, lead them back here. Alright?”

Chika’s voice crested and dipped as her wings began beating. She hovered between the two humans for a long moment, “I’ll return as quickly as possible. Would you like me to stick around to see what they find out?”

“That would be perfect, Chika,” and suddenly Sakura felt very tired, “Thank you.”

Chika’s buzzing faded into the distance as she headed for the village, and Sakura turned to Kenta once more. His face was frightened.

“Don’t worry,” she said, “there are no ninja in the village, they likely won’t harm you. Although I can’t say the same for your native village once they return you. I’ll be leaving once my things are packed. Chika will return before you starve, I can promise you that,” she uncorked her water pouch and once more assisted the young man in drinking, “Goodbye, Kenta,” and her eyes held a touch of sympathy, “it is not going to be easy for either of us.”

She looked to the sky, dark clouds rolled up from the south, and she supposed she’d be heading into rain.


	3. A Catching Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: I know these have been tiny, tiny chapters, but I keep figuring I should post them even if they're not very long because it's good to have something going, right? Anyway, I know there are some burning questions about what's going on in this story, but bear with it. Some big reveals are around the corner and we'll finally get some Kakashi-centric chapters. Woo-hoo!

 

Sakura had not smiled in a very long time. Now the wolf's grin spread across her lips and she thought it felt different from before.

She had been young and in love, and her smiles were unfaltering, full of hope. Then, as it so often is, the promise of love was sucked away by the universe and all her girlish smiles with it.

But today, as she neared the small mining town at the border of Fire and Water, Sakura felt that old twitch of muscle in her cheeks.

_He's there._

She stopped, using her chakra to hold back her momentum so she wouldn't fly into the next tree trunk, and surveyed the area carefully. His scent was faint, but traceable. Only about an hour old. He was getting sloppy, and she figured it could mean two things: he was getting tired, or he was injured. When the pang of sympathy rose in her stomach, Sakura pushed it down.

_Besides,_ she thought,  _I can heal him if I find him. And if I can get him to sit still for it._

She turned to face the expanse of forest behind her and wondered how far behind her summons were trailing. Since the last time she'd run into Kakashi, Sakura had been instructing Chika and her siblings to follow behind her and do what they could to mask her trail and keep watch. So far, there had been no sign of the rogue nin who had been tracking her, and she felt fairly confident she had outrun them.

She snorted,  _amateurs._

Spurred by the feeling that if she played her cards right, she  _just might_  complete her mission in this tiny village, Sakura continued through the trees. She ignored the small voice in her head that said,  _What will happen when you do?_

* * *

Chika caught up to her just as she was about to enter the inn she'd spotted close to the center of town. Being so central might discourage anyone tailing her from making too much of a scene. Sakura bent to greet the summons with a smile, but the ladybug was quivering and coughing, obviously shaken after a swift flight.

"M'lady..." she paused to suck air, her small black-plated belly heaving. Sakura felt tension circle in her gut. As the soft hairs of her body rose, so did her sense of awareness. A small hand flittered over the kunai strapped to her thigh.

"Chika, what's – Aarugh!" Sakura was grabbed at the shoulder and brutally twisted away from her summons. The face that appeared before her was wide and snarling, spit beaded at the corners of the man's twisted mouth.

"Got you, you little bitch!"

Sakura cursed and tried to calm herself. She'd never be able to control her chakra if she let her heart run from her chest. She breathed once, taking the moment to note the man's bald head and the gold ring dangling from between his nostrils.

"I don't know how a little  _girl_ like you managed to take so many of our men," he hissed, "but you're gonna pay someday." A crooked smile slipped across his face, "For now, though. We've got need of you."

She kept her cool, let her eyebrows dip menacingly, "You don't yet," and she smiled a little smile, "but you will."

With that she raised her right leg and all in one instant she positioned the sole of her boot over his stomach, heaving with a controlled burst of concentrated chakra. The man's hold on her arms slackened as he sputtered backwards. He bent double and staggered, and his head snapped up to her.

"Wha…what did you do to me?" he rasped. Small red bubbles frothed as he moved his lips.

Sakura smiled, feeling triumphant. "Nothing…at least that anyone else can tell. But you and I both know that's not true. As you and your  _annoying_ gang seem to have noticed, I'm a medic-nin. A good one at that. My knowledge of the human body and how it breaks is not as  _limited_ as most others'." A short chuckle rang from her throat.

And even as the man before her fell to the sun-bleached path, his face stark white against the gold in his nose and the blood on his chin, she felt the presence of a mass behind her. At least twenty chakra signatures, that she could count. She turned in a swift motion that brought a defensive kunai in front of her face.

The men she faced stood in a tight semicircle which was closing in around her. In the evening lull, only a few passerby witnessed the scene, but they each ducked their heads and continued on with fearful postures.

And the men were indeed frightening; Sakura had to give them that. Many of them were hulking figures, obviously trained well in brute combat. Yet still there were lithe figures, some bordering on scrawny. Sakura supposed they might be skilled in other areas, but found herself more concerned about the larger ones. Her strength would make it easy to snap the skinny ones, the more muscled ones would need to be broken down in other ways.

As the circle became smaller, she reminded herself to be cautious. After all, she had no idea at what level these men were capable of fighting and it was a real possibility she was in danger. She decided she'd try diplomacy first.

"I don't want trouble with you…gentlemen. Just leave me alone and we can go our separate ways."

A big one in the front of the pack laughed gruffly, and in a voice thick with gravel said, "You may not want trouble, missie, but trouble wants you." He grinned and showed a smattering of missing teeth. The ones left were gray with rot.

Next was bluffing.

"I think it's you who's in trouble. You should know that my skill as a ninja is not exclusively medic. I have taken better men than you."

Now one of the shorter men to her left shouted, "Right you did! You took my brother!"

Still another shouted, "My friend!"

And another, "My husband!"

From where Sakura stood the older kunoichi's broad, sad face was visible between the shoulders of the men in front of her. Sakura's heart squeezed uncomfortably before she kicked herself.

_I didn't kill those men! Damn Kakashi!_

The rising din of the mob was beginning to strip her nerves and just as she thought of running, someone lashed out an arm. The men in the back of the group spread to make room while the front ranks closed in on her. She noted that they planned to attack in waves. On one hand, Sakura was relieved, and on the other she worried that she might tire before she could defeat them all. For an instant, she found herself missing Naruto and his stupid shadow clones. As the first big fist crashed toward her face, Sakura chopped up into its wrist from below with her empty hand.

Gasps went up among the group. Just as the appendage slid from its stocky limb, the man who had been stealing up on Sakura's left fell, her kunai glittering prettily from his eye. At seeing his comrades fall so swiftly, the third man approaching from her right hesitated. It was a bad decision on his part, and Sakura made sure he saw the power in her eyes before her solid kick stopped his heart.

She allowed herself one single breath of triumph, before turning to lob a sharp jab at another attacker. The tips of her fingers ghosted over his cheekbone and a look of fear invaded his eyes before the structure of his face shattered and his body dropped to the ground.

_Four,_ she counted.

As she swung out of the punch, a large hand grabbed her forearm and jerked her forward against a broad chest. Her chest wanted to heave, but Sakura forced herself to regulate her body and maintain control. Using all the leverage she could muster, she brought her free arm around and sliced down on the man's sinewy neck. To her horror, the man's skin barely split.

"Wha...?" Her eyes were wide and the man's harsh bark of laughter gusted over her face as he drew her closer.

"You see,  _girl,"_ and he punctuated with a crunching squeeze of her arm, "we ain't all made of flesh and blood," he leaned in close to her ear and breathed, "Some of us got steel under our skin."

The man leaned back and looked around, as if to address his comrades, "We're an inclusive group, miss. Some of us are strong and some of us are weak," his eyes came to settle on her face and he smiled unpleasantly, "I ain't one of the weak ones."

_Steel?_ Sakura searched her medic's brain for a possible solution.  _No human could survive with steel for insides!_ She then thought of Gaara and his sand.  _Some type of protective steel shell?_

Knowing she had no way of damaging the strange barrier without some leverage, Sakura began to struggle.  _If I could just get some distance, I could crush this guy._

His grip was vice-like, though, and Sakura wondered if his muscles really  _weren't_ made of steel. With one last, sharp laugh, the man said, "Well, miss medic, I hope you know how to heal a concussion," and bashed his skull into her forehead.

As her body became slack and darkness encroached on her vision, Sakura's last emotions were disappointment that a ninja of her strength might die this way, and anger that Kakashi had once again gotten away.  _Well,_ she thought with a strange resignation,  _I guess you got what you wanted, sensei._ Unconsciousness flooded her and she could feel the crowd closing in on her body. White light burned behind her eyelids and Sakura swore she heard the chirping of birds.


	4. Biding Time and Going Along

It was damp, he knew, but at the moment his humble abode would have to do.

Kakashi dug out the only hole-free blanket from a busted laundry hamper and tucked the edges under Sakura’s cold arms. Pausing, he let out a soft “hm,” and seemed to consider something before securing his best pillow underneath her head. As he slid his fingers from beneath her skull, he frowned at her sweat-soaked scalp. Leaning in close, he tilted his ear to her nostrils and seemed to stop his own breathing so that he could assure hers was even. It was not.

“Shit,” he muttered, and sat back on his heels, stumped. He’d checked for signs of shock, or at least the ones he could remember. She was hit pretty solidly on the forehead, and had a nice yellowed goose egg to prove it _but surely,_ he thought, _she’s going to be ok._

Sighing, he rose and stooped down the narrow hallway in the dark. Fumbling in the restroom for his only clean rag – and a rag it certainly was – Kakashi turned the knob for cold water. As he waited for the pipes to waken, his dogged face bleared at him from the mirror. Frowning, he thought, _this is how you die, old mutt._

At that, he ducked his head quickly away and clenched his fist around the rag, water spilling around his fingers. Flicking them into the sink, he stalked back and had to resist throwing the rag onto the girl’s face.

_Stupid fucking girl!_

Taking a few breaths, he carefully, carefully folded the cloth, laid it over her forehead, and wondered how long he had before she woke. He crawled over to the opposite wall and let his head thunk back.

_I can sleep for a few minutes._

And he did.

* * *

 

_Hot and cold,_ Sakura thought vaguely and wondered if this even counted as dreaming. She couldn’t remember what her face looked like but she remembered pink, yes, pink cheeks, hair, lips. _I’m pink,_ she thought, and she remembered what a smile felt like.

_Alive?_

And she was coming up, up, almost to the top.

_Ow. Oh…_

She remembered pain. And lights.

_Kakashi..._

She _remembered_ pain.

Sakura was suddenly aware of dim light pressing its thumbs into her eyelids. She felt her new eyebrows scrunch, and a hum of pain thrummed past her lips.

She remembered water.

_Need…_

Sakura slipped one lid up a tiny fraction, adjusting to the brightness of the outside world. She felt sick. She wished she were unconscious again. Propping herself onto an elbow, she tried to lean as far away from her bedding as possible, and began to vomit.

The retching seemed to last forever, but as the frequency of heaves lessened, Sakura became aware of him. His presence burned at her from the corner and she was too tired and weak to look at him. She knew he was awake, even if he hadn’t moved.

“Water…” and her voice was a rusty stab into the dark.

Slowly the shape in the corner rose, and Sakura heard the slight rustling of fabric. She felt him move across the small boxed living space and into the small alcove behind her. She assumed it was a kitchen, but couldn’t be bothered to look. Keeping her eyes closed, she leaned back onto her elbows and waited.

After a long moment filled with the soft clinking of glass and the rush of water, Sakura felt him return to her. She started when she felt the cool rim of the glass press at the part in her lips.

“Drink.” He said firmly, and she did. She had to fight the urge to open her eyes and look at him, knowing the pain in her head would make her regret it. Instead she sipped water helplessly and wondered how she must appear to him, beaten and suckling like a baby. Somehow, though, the rage she was so accustomed to carrying lay dead in her stomach. She was too tired. He was too strong.

A large hand pressed on her shoulder and urged her to the bedroll. “You need to lie down,” Kakashi told her gruffly, and Sakura let her elbows slide out from under her. She could think only of sleep.

“Will you be here when I wake up?” slid past her lips and there was an awful silence. The length of it frightened Sakura, but she couldn’t fathom why.

“Yes.” He said, and she slept.

* * *

 

When sunlight began to prickle their bodies each ninja blinked, startled by the ambush of morning. Each of them remained still, letting memory slowly establish itself. It sank their dream-lightened hearts. Each of them inwardly prepared for several kinds of battles.

Sakura sat up first. She always was the more direct of the two. Feeling in the dim light for the glass she knew should be near, she cursed when she knocked it sideways and the water began spilling toward Kakashi’s sleeping back a few feet away. Grabbing her blanket, Sakura quickly pressed it over the rolling liquid and had another look at him.

_It’s not like him to sleep so soundly with an enemy on his bedroll._ She frowned. She considered giving him a hard kick and demanding why he hadn’t dropped her at a hospital, but the need for water overwhelmed her. Standing, Sakura made her way to what appeared to be the corner of Kakashi’s box that was designated “kitchen.” Halfway to the sink with her thin, white arm outstretched in the gloom, she stopped with a hammering heart. Kakashi rose behind her, the morning light dusty around his form.

Sakura found herself, for the second time since he’d brought her here, afraid. She wanted to believe there was nothing in the world that could twist the heart of her old sensei, but she had lived too long as a ninja. Sakura knew much about how little it took. Her heart flapped rapidly in her chest and she waited for him to speak, frozen as a startled bird.

“Are you hungry?” His figure seemed to relax into a slouch that was a bit more rigid than she remembered and made a few steps toward her. She could see his face. It was tired.

Suddenly, Sakura was angry that the moment had nearly snapped her in half while he seemed somewhat bored. _That’s what he has to say?_

“Am I _hungry?”_ Her voice sprang out and sounded like panic. Her outstretched hand slapped onto the damp skin of her chest. “Look at this!” She flung her arms desperately at their situation, the dirty carpet, her hunt-worn clothes and his hunted eye, her fear, his fists balled tight in his pockets. They had been friends once. “Look at who we _are_ now, Kakashi. And that’s all you have to say to me?”

Kakashi straightened a bit and blinked. She knew it was because she had never said his name like that before. She couldn’t contain herself.

“All this time,” and her voice rolled out of her, low and sure, “all this time I’ve _wasted_ hoping you might be sorry. You left us! You lost your golden boy and then Naruto and I were nothing to you. We were something to be left behind, like everyone else. Just tell me why!”

Sakura’s breath heaved and she was ready to fight. Before her, lit by the dim light, Kakashi began to turn away from her and stopped halfway around, agitated, twitching his leg. His jaw was a vice. He turned back, arm raised in a gesture which could have meant anything.

“Why did they send you?” Restraint, his teeth iron bars against something too big for him.

“ _They_ didn’t,” she replied hotly, “I volunteered.”

“Why?”

“Why not? Why should I have stayed there? To grieve?” Sakura gave a soft huff, “I have grieved, Kakashi. We are shinobi. We will never stop grieving.”

There was a long, silent moment in which Kakashi seemed to assess her. Sakura wondered if he recognized her.

She went on, “Naruto got better, eventually. Just in case you were wondering,” she paused, searching for subtle signs of his reaction, “I haven’t been able to contact him in a while, but last I heard he’s been spending some time with friends. He went on a date with Hinata, even.”

Sakura could feel the tension in her fingertips. She didn’t care if he didn’t want to hear it. Kakashi was working to steady his breath.

“Yeah?” and for a split second his brow ducked into his palm, “That’s…good.”

“I didn’t get to see him before I left. He didn’t know that you’d run, yet. I don’t even know who told him. But he talked about you a lot, in his letters. He kept saying ‘when you come back with Kakashi…’” She squinted and hoped she was hurting him, “And I’m going to. I’m not going back without you.”

“Sakura,” he paused and thought, “I can’t go back. What do I have waiting for me? I’ll be tried as a criminal. Ibiki will have his hands all over me. You think there haven’t been moments, all this time, that I considered it? Wished for it? It’s been shit,” and he indicated the grubby apartment, “But going back will be worse than shit, for everyone involved. What have I got to offer them? I won’t sell their secrets. Tsunade knows that.”

The girl snorted, casting her gaze downward, “Well,” she began with a raise of an eyebrow, “I don’t know what she knows anymore.”

She let the sentence hang there between them, big and heavy, and then she turned and headed for the tap. Grabbing one of the dusty glasses from the counter, she rolled it between her palms and contemplated how she would proceed. He wouldn’t return to Konoha with her, that was for sure. And the pain in her head made her reluctant to drag him into a full-on fight. She could hardly hope to beat him if she was at her best, not starving and suffering head-trauma.

“I don’t want to fight you,” she said.

“Then don’t.”

“Fine. But…I’m tired of chasing you, Kakashi,” Sakura raised the glass to her lips.

“Then don’t.”

Sitting the glass on the counter, she steeled herself and said very quietly, “I want to come with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wanted to continue on with this chapter and answer some more questions, but I've been dragging my feet so I wanted to go ahead and publish this chapter. This feels like an acceptable stopping point. I know there are still so many questions to be answered, but I want the pacing of the story to remain realistic considering the past events that have led to the encounters these two have had so far. It doesn't seem realistic to me for them both to sit down and completely rehash everything that has happened between them for no reason other than to inform the reader. However, I think it's becoming clear that some tragic things have happened in the time before the beginning of this story, and very soon those of you that have asked when this story is set and why will have your questions answered. Don't worry, though, the story is set after a great tragedy, but it is ultimately about rebuilding lives and finding happiness. So if you're not a fan of tragedy and darkness, this is a story that climbs toward the light.
> 
> Let me know what you think!


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